I got two new e-mails today from other people who are leaving for Zambia with me in January and I had a conversation with a teacher of mine from high school about how bizarre it is to prepare for this experience.
On one hand I get these e-mails and introduce myself and think about these people who I will spend the next two years with and who I am SO excited to meet. I can't wait to have faces along with names, and voices along with their words on their blogs and in their e-mails, and hopes and dreams to understand and discuss along with the reasons we tell each other for why we decided to do Peace Corps in Africa. I look at the pictures and the youtube videos of current volunteers and I imagine my village, and the kids who I will get to know, and the travels I will get to do and I can't wait to leave.
On the other hand, I have no idea what my life is going to be like. It's exciting to be embarking on this adventure and yet seems almost impossible to prepare for. Should I take my ipod? Should I bring two pairs of jeans? Should I get my eyes checked before I go? Should I worry about getting an HPV vaccine or will Peace Corps give me that? What's my village going to be like? What language will I study and speak (insh'allah) eventually? What work will I do on a daily basis? No clarity. So, the preparation slows and I turn back to my GRE book and say "I think I'll pack in January..."
On top of all the normal questions, Peace Corps seems to have lost my passport (they say it got lost in the mail). So, I spent the day fighting with their beauracracy to try to figure out how to get a new one. Then I asked them "what immunizations are you going to give me?" and the medical officer (isn't that his job?!) can't answer the question. "Oh, you'll get what you need." Oh thanks! I mean, it's probably true and I should probably just trust them, but don't they have a list? On a computer?
My roomate from Cairo, Emily, when I told her the passport story, said laughing "well, just be happy that didn't happen in Cairo!" To which I probably also laughed. I guess, I should be happy I'm dealing with it here before I leave and have to wait in line at the embassy in Lusaka. It's funny though, I almost feel like I'd have more patience for this in Cairo or Lusaka. I mean, why would I even expect my passport application to be processed there? Here I expect it be processed and I expect the mail to work. Maybe I shouldn't...
In closing, I feel like I'm in this bizarre limbo stage of being super excited to leave and talking to other volunteers and starting to gather my belongings and let my heart do a little pitter patter at the experiences awaiting me, and then on the other hand feeling that the word "preparation" means almost nothing to me. What does it mean to "prepare" for this experience?
Thursday, December 14, 2006
Monday, December 11, 2006
bat mitzvahs
I spent the past weekend in Portland, ME with my family celebrating my cousin's Bat Mitzvah. It was really nice. My dad commented at the end that she already looked older at the end than she did at the beginning. I said that I wasn't sure if that was true, but that I definitely thought she looked older than I had ever seen her on that day. Maybe it was the dress, but probably not...
It's amazing how much weight (emotional, historical, intellectual...) can be put into those moments on the bima. We (my family) were talking about how it is not only this moment of great celebration but also one where the completion of a huge amount of work is publicly recognized. It's kind of an amazing thing to watch. My dad also commented on how he thinks that the 13 year olds up there leading don't necessarily "get" the historical lineage that they are now a part of, which I kind of disagree with. I think they do, I think I did... probably not in a way that I could have been eloquent about in any real way, but in a way that I understood I was now joining a line of people, and one of the first women in my family to do that... So I was both joining and pioneering. Strange.
Anyway, getting to watching her lead and sing was beautiful and getting to watch all the different parts of my family (aunts, uncles, cousins, her parents) do things like open the ark, bless her, say the Torah blessings next to her was really amazing... all of them there to be a part of and recognize and cherish and bless her day. My family really shows up for events and almost everyone was there. Whether it was her parents giving her her tallit or our little cousins opening and closing the ark or the rest of us watching, laughing at jokes and tearing up at different moments, we all got to watch her get a little older and really show us how much she's worked over the last year. She did a really incredible job.
In other news, Zambia has been named by the New York Times as THE luxury vacation destination of 2007. Who knew? A bit ironic that more than half of the country lives on less than $2 a day and that tourists are coming in spending $600 A NIGHT on lodging so that they can watch the hippos play as they lounge in their hot tubs. But, I guess it's a mixed bag because tourism is also obviously doing a lot for the country. So, I guess it's better that Zambia make it into the New York Time travel section than not... any thoughts? Just so you know, if you come visit me, I can't afford a luxury safari lodge, though I'll hopefully be able to tell you where the best places to see animals are! :-)
It's amazing how much weight (emotional, historical, intellectual...) can be put into those moments on the bima. We (my family) were talking about how it is not only this moment of great celebration but also one where the completion of a huge amount of work is publicly recognized. It's kind of an amazing thing to watch. My dad also commented on how he thinks that the 13 year olds up there leading don't necessarily "get" the historical lineage that they are now a part of, which I kind of disagree with. I think they do, I think I did... probably not in a way that I could have been eloquent about in any real way, but in a way that I understood I was now joining a line of people, and one of the first women in my family to do that... So I was both joining and pioneering. Strange.
Anyway, getting to watching her lead and sing was beautiful and getting to watch all the different parts of my family (aunts, uncles, cousins, her parents) do things like open the ark, bless her, say the Torah blessings next to her was really amazing... all of them there to be a part of and recognize and cherish and bless her day. My family really shows up for events and almost everyone was there. Whether it was her parents giving her her tallit or our little cousins opening and closing the ark or the rest of us watching, laughing at jokes and tearing up at different moments, we all got to watch her get a little older and really show us how much she's worked over the last year. She did a really incredible job.
In other news, Zambia has been named by the New York Times as THE luxury vacation destination of 2007. Who knew? A bit ironic that more than half of the country lives on less than $2 a day and that tourists are coming in spending $600 A NIGHT on lodging so that they can watch the hippos play as they lounge in their hot tubs. But, I guess it's a mixed bag because tourism is also obviously doing a lot for the country. So, I guess it's better that Zambia make it into the New York Time travel section than not... any thoughts? Just so you know, if you come visit me, I can't afford a luxury safari lodge, though I'll hopefully be able to tell you where the best places to see animals are! :-)
Monday, December 04, 2006
home
I'm home, which feels both really nice and a bit slow. Emma came home from school the first day I was here and asked what I did: "Well, I slept and then I read a little and met a friend for lunch, and slept some more, and worked out... and read some more, I guess."
Her response: "You're going to be bored soon!"
So yeah, I might get bored soon, but for now at least I'm doing ok. I'm studying for the GRE, trying to work out everyday, reading a bit (right now, The Prince of Marshes about the provisional government in Iraq... interesting if depressing and Istanbul, romantic and beautiful if a bit slow), seeing some friends and Chicago people, and planning a trip east for Christmas/New Year's time for some more goodbyes.
My imminent departure is starting to seem both more real and more normal. I've been e-mailing with two girls who are on the same program as me and it's been comforting to hear similar fears: am I hardcore enough? Will I have to get over my fear of snakes? Will we actually be productive as Peace Corps volunteers? It's also interesting to hear how we all decided on Peace Corps and Africa in particular. A desire to be a place that needs so much, a need for adventure, a push to do work that was meaningful and serving others in some way... I guess that will only become more interesting as I hear about, "meet," and then actually meet all the other people in my group. I'm starting to get excited!
I'm starting to make packing lists... both in reality and in my head. All sorts of things keep popping up: pj pants, hot chocolate mixes, a headlamp, a passport holder (someone somewhere in the Peace Corps state department beauracracy seems to have lost mine! I'm concerned...) and more. I need to try to find a solar panel charger, anyone with experience in this? I'd love suggestions.
In sad news, my Egyptian kitty, Fadoula, was hit by a car last week. It seems a bit ironic that a cat from Egypt would get killed by a car in the states. But maybe it was meant to be or something. Anyway, I miss her a lot and wish she was here cuddling up against my leg. Even more of a reason to find another beautiful little African lion.
Her response: "You're going to be bored soon!"
So yeah, I might get bored soon, but for now at least I'm doing ok. I'm studying for the GRE, trying to work out everyday, reading a bit (right now, The Prince of Marshes about the provisional government in Iraq... interesting if depressing and Istanbul, romantic and beautiful if a bit slow), seeing some friends and Chicago people, and planning a trip east for Christmas/New Year's time for some more goodbyes.
My imminent departure is starting to seem both more real and more normal. I've been e-mailing with two girls who are on the same program as me and it's been comforting to hear similar fears: am I hardcore enough? Will I have to get over my fear of snakes? Will we actually be productive as Peace Corps volunteers? It's also interesting to hear how we all decided on Peace Corps and Africa in particular. A desire to be a place that needs so much, a need for adventure, a push to do work that was meaningful and serving others in some way... I guess that will only become more interesting as I hear about, "meet," and then actually meet all the other people in my group. I'm starting to get excited!
I'm starting to make packing lists... both in reality and in my head. All sorts of things keep popping up: pj pants, hot chocolate mixes, a headlamp, a passport holder (someone somewhere in the Peace Corps state department beauracracy seems to have lost mine! I'm concerned...) and more. I need to try to find a solar panel charger, anyone with experience in this? I'd love suggestions.
In sad news, my Egyptian kitty, Fadoula, was hit by a car last week. It seems a bit ironic that a cat from Egypt would get killed by a car in the states. But maybe it was meant to be or something. Anyway, I miss her a lot and wish she was here cuddling up against my leg. Even more of a reason to find another beautiful little African lion.
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