t minus 24 hours

oh so much has happened, i feel like this entry might be a little all over the place. i have pics up on snapfish (i think, fingers crossed) and will hopefully send a link out for those soon. i'll try to put up a couple on here and if you don't get a snapfish link and want it, e-mail me! :-)

i'm in lusaka today. we came in thursday and then swore in as volunteers on friday at the peace corps office. i didn't really expect to be very moved by the ceremony, kind of anticipating that it would be silly, but it was more moving that i thought. it was a little silly, but there was something more meaningful than i expected about finally becoming a volunteer. that i'm here! that i'm now part of this bigger community. that i'm not heading off on my own. that i get to create this experience in a way that i want from now on... it's crazy.

then after swearing-in we loaded up all the vehicles saturday morning and people headed out to their provinces. all my stuff and my life was sent up on a vehicle while me and two other people in my group stayed in lusaka for passover. we're going to seder at the synagogue tonight, which should be really interesting. i'm excited. i think it's mostly expats who are involved, but we'll see! we made gefilte fish yesterday with the woman we're staying with which was SO yummy! and had mexican food for dinner and a washing machine for our clothes! pretty wonderful.

i head up to my site tomorrow, bright and early and then get "posted" on wed. that means that i'll do shopping for my house (buckets, jerry cans, a brazier etc) and then they'll drop me off and i get to figure out what's next. it's a little crazy... that in 48 hours i'll prob be alone at my site trying to unpack, hang pictures, put my mosquito net up, figure out how/where to get water, and where all the schools i'm working with are.

the first three months at our sites are called "community entry." that means that we have time to create our lives, figure out how to live and make routines, figure out where we are and where other people live, watch and observe our schools and the teachers we work with, and mostly do needs-assessment and network. i'm excited and feel a lot more ready than i thought i would. i kind of anticipated feeling only terrified about going off my own and that i would have no idea what to do once i got there. and terror is def. involved in the equation, but it's also excitement to finally be going, to finally be figuring out what my community needs, what i have to offer, and what these two years might look like a bit more.

i'm also so excited to start creating my own routines... yoga, cooking, riding my bike, reading, planting a garden. i've already read five books here. i just finished obama's first book, which i loved. i think partly that was because it seemed so relevant to my time here. his writing about community organizing and africa just resonated so strongly. so i'll have time to do all of that, things i haven't had time to do in so long!

the fear is mostly about worrying that i might not really have much to do, that i won't know what to do or that my village will expect different things from me... i think day 3 is what i'm scared about. once things are unpacked and my day is unstructured and i don't know what to do next, will i feel lonely? will i feel like i have nothing to offer? will i feel depressed and confused about development? i don't know, i hope not. or i hope just a little, so that life feels grounded but not overwhelming.

anyway, i feel like i haven't done a very good job and of explaining things in this entry, but maybe that's because things feel so scattered for me. i'm excited that i'm about to settle down for longer than i have since high school! and you're all still welcome to visit!