catching up

first, i'm in capetown! with my mom and sister. it's beautiful and lovely and friendly and clean and i ate sushi for dinner the first night! it was great.

second, here's a lovely entry by a friend of a friend of mine who's another PC volunteer, in mozambique - http://souaqui.blogspot.com/2008_03_01_archive.html. i think it gets into some of what is so difficult to do when it comes to AIDS and HIV here - in zambia, in mozambique, in south africa... i'd recommend reading it because of the insights it offers, but also just because it's beautifully written account of an AIDS death and the struggles of that.

third, things have been going well - i think i've been struggling, as always, with what sustainability means in my role here. how do i set up systems that might, possibly, if people want last? how do i disengage myself from the active process of making something happen and step back a bit to let my counterparts do it while at the same time making them feel i'm helping, paying attention, assisting in appropriate ways? how do i encourage people who have never been told to take risks in school to try to take risks in facilitation or youth skills work?

i've been feeling frustrated with how much many of my projects seem to revolve around me - that kids come when i'm there, that people forget to have or go to meetings if i'm out, that the practical organizational stuff falls on me, that the frank conversations about sex happen with me. none of which is bad by itself but when i think about whether or not even a youth group will keep meeting when i leave i get left with questions and not any answers... it's exhausting.

so, i think a vacation will do me good and then when i get back to my last 9 months here i can get back on track!