1 year in
One of the hardest things about being here after a while is that even as I am suddenly used to living here and the patterns and routines of life feel more normal to me other people still see me as such an anomaly. People still ask for money or call me “muzungu” (white person) or act surprised that I live in a thatch hut. My response is kind of “come on!” Don’t you know who I am? Or where I live? Or that you shouldn’t call me muzungu, that I have a name? I get frustrated that people can’t get used to ME.
But probably most often it is still people who don’t see me often or don’t know who I am or much about me and that even as MY life here has settled, and there are people who have settled in, they aren’t a part of that and they don’t see that. It can be quite frustrating, especially on days when other things aren’t going well, but for the most part, it’s just laughable and connected to my awareness that I AM an anomaly. I AM a bit strange. It IS weird for a muzungu to be hanging around here. Heck, when I see other muzungus I kind of do a double take and think “what are THEY doing in MY town?!” and then I laugh at myself.
Monday, July 28, 2008
Saturday, July 05, 2008
books!
we got all of our money for the books!!! it's so exciting. we're working on getting them shipped out as soon as possible and i can't wait to update you all!
i also just got back from a vacation with my mom and sister, which was wonderful - south luangwa game park where we saw lots of animals, my village and a dance party with my women's group, livingstone and the falls and a beautiful beautiful lodge on the river.
my sister is still here and we head back up to mpika today to hang out there for a week which should be fun. and my mom headed out yesterday, which was sad. it's crazy to get this intense time with family and then realize how far away they are going again - but it's now been twice as long (about) as it will be until i see them again! so i've already gone this long without seeing them, the rest will seem so fast probably. too fast maybe since i still have so much i want to do.
we're hopefully getting this library up and going now now, still working with a women's group on trying to start a big sewing project (might have just gotten a sewing machine for them! fingers crossed), might be working on a youth or girl's career week that will maybe be around world AIDS day and focusing on HIV a bunch, my youth group may actually start moving with some footballs i just got and a peer educator training we're doing next week... so, life's busy and i hope i have some more concrete work stuff to report next time i write.
i also just got back from a vacation with my mom and sister, which was wonderful - south luangwa game park where we saw lots of animals, my village and a dance party with my women's group, livingstone and the falls and a beautiful beautiful lodge on the river.
my sister is still here and we head back up to mpika today to hang out there for a week which should be fun. and my mom headed out yesterday, which was sad. it's crazy to get this intense time with family and then realize how far away they are going again - but it's now been twice as long (about) as it will be until i see them again! so i've already gone this long without seeing them, the rest will seem so fast probably. too fast maybe since i still have so much i want to do.
we're hopefully getting this library up and going now now, still working with a women's group on trying to start a big sewing project (might have just gotten a sewing machine for them! fingers crossed), might be working on a youth or girl's career week that will maybe be around world AIDS day and focusing on HIV a bunch, my youth group may actually start moving with some footballs i just got and a peer educator training we're doing next week... so, life's busy and i hope i have some more concrete work stuff to report next time i write.
Friday, June 20, 2008
catching up
first, i'm in capetown! with my mom and sister. it's beautiful and lovely and friendly and clean and i ate sushi for dinner the first night! it was great.
second, here's a lovely entry by a friend of a friend of mine who's another PC volunteer, in mozambique - http://souaqui.blogspot.com/2008_03_01_archive.html. i think it gets into some of what is so difficult to do when it comes to AIDS and HIV here - in zambia, in mozambique, in south africa... i'd recommend reading it because of the insights it offers, but also just because it's beautifully written account of an AIDS death and the struggles of that.
third, things have been going well - i think i've been struggling, as always, with what sustainability means in my role here. how do i set up systems that might, possibly, if people want last? how do i disengage myself from the active process of making something happen and step back a bit to let my counterparts do it while at the same time making them feel i'm helping, paying attention, assisting in appropriate ways? how do i encourage people who have never been told to take risks in school to try to take risks in facilitation or youth skills work?
i've been feeling frustrated with how much many of my projects seem to revolve around me - that kids come when i'm there, that people forget to have or go to meetings if i'm out, that the practical organizational stuff falls on me, that the frank conversations about sex happen with me. none of which is bad by itself but when i think about whether or not even a youth group will keep meeting when i leave i get left with questions and not any answers... it's exhausting.
so, i think a vacation will do me good and then when i get back to my last 9 months here i can get back on track!
second, here's a lovely entry by a friend of a friend of mine who's another PC volunteer, in mozambique - http://souaqui.blogspot.com/2008_03_01_archive.html. i think it gets into some of what is so difficult to do when it comes to AIDS and HIV here - in zambia, in mozambique, in south africa... i'd recommend reading it because of the insights it offers, but also just because it's beautifully written account of an AIDS death and the struggles of that.
third, things have been going well - i think i've been struggling, as always, with what sustainability means in my role here. how do i set up systems that might, possibly, if people want last? how do i disengage myself from the active process of making something happen and step back a bit to let my counterparts do it while at the same time making them feel i'm helping, paying attention, assisting in appropriate ways? how do i encourage people who have never been told to take risks in school to try to take risks in facilitation or youth skills work?
i've been feeling frustrated with how much many of my projects seem to revolve around me - that kids come when i'm there, that people forget to have or go to meetings if i'm out, that the practical organizational stuff falls on me, that the frank conversations about sex happen with me. none of which is bad by itself but when i think about whether or not even a youth group will keep meeting when i leave i get left with questions and not any answers... it's exhausting.
so, i think a vacation will do me good and then when i get back to my last 9 months here i can get back on track!
Thursday, June 05, 2008
guest entry
A guest entry from a lovely guest - my dad! enjoy
If you haven’t gone to visit Hannah in Zambia yet, you should go. It is amazing.
I went at the end of April. Tess, who was wandering around Europe, met me at Heathrow and we flew down to Lusaka together. We got there as the sun was rising. It took a while to get through immigration, and we were surprised that the visa fee had gone up to $135 each. Hannah met us at the airport with a cabbie waiting who whisked us in to Les and Lynn’s house. Les and Lynn used to direct a Peace Corps program and now work for NGOs. They’ve made their lovely home a haven for Peace Corps volunteers and, it seems, any other weary traveler of goodwill who is looking for a hot shower and a beer.
We went shopping at the Dutch Reformed market where Hannah knows just about everybody.
The next morning, we caught the dawn bus to Livingstone. We stayed at a great hostel called Fawlty Towers - where we got our own room for three, with a bathroom down the hall, a pool in the courtyard, a decent restaurant, and bunch of friendly cats to play with. It is two miles or so from Victoria Falls.
The Falls are better than you can imagine – they are like no other geologic formation I’ve ever seen. The river flows across a flat plain above them, then just drops over a mile-wide ridge that looks like it is the edge of the earth, into a narrow ravine below. Because there is so much water (it was the end of the rainy season), because the ravine is so deep, and because it is so narrow, the water crashes into the rocks below and makes so much mist that you can barely see the falls. (The name for the falls in the local language – Mosi Ao Tunya – translates as “The Smoke That Thunders”) All you see is mist. And you hear an incredible roar. On the paths that go along the ridges opposite the falls, the mist is so thick that it is like a torrential downpour. The rent raincoats, umbrellas, and even rubber clogs. If you don’t rent them (we didn’t) you will get very, very wet.
The next day, we met our safari guide, a guy named Bob Batchelor. I’d found his company – Imfuduko African Safaris – on the web, and worked with him by phone and email to design a trip. We spent a few days canoeing on the Lower Zambezi (and saw many hippos, crocodiles, impala, and great birds. We saw one large, lonely elephant, munching reeds by the river bank. Then we drove to another game park – Kafue – in Western Zambia. There, on a night game drive, we saw more elephants, zebras, a leopard, a civet, a few porcupine, kudu, puku, impala, and a fat lazy puff adder, slithering across the road. We let him slither. Bob dropped us off in Lusaka after a week in the bush –and we were happy to see Les and Lynn’s again.
From there, we went up to Mpika to visit Hannah’s village. We were welcomed like royalty. Everyone from the proprietors of the internet café to the vegetable sellers in the market know and love “Ba Anna” (as Hannah is known there.) We basked in the reflected glory. The village ladies put on a wild and wonderful dance show, skit, and formal welcome ceremony for us. For the children in the village, our visit was major entertainment. They watched our every move, imitated our funny speech, wanted to touch our strange pale, hairy skin, and found us amusing in every way. We liked them, too.
We met all the other Peace Corps volunteers. We ate nshima and chibwabwa, made over Hannah’s charcoal brazier fire. We drank beer and played pool at a great bar run by a German guy who has settled in Mpika. We hiked to the dam. We went to visit the waterfalls in Kasama. We visited a local orphanage and the local school. Everywhere we went, the people we met were warm and welcoming.
Zambia is one of southern Africa’s success stories – especially compared to its neighbor Zimbabwe. That doesn’t mean all is well. Poverty is rampant. AIDS orphans are everywhere. The education system is massively underfunded. All the contradictions and frustrations of developing countries are everywhere apparent. But so are the virtues. It is a challenging place to visit – hard to get to, hard to get around, and full of things that challenge preconceptions about Africa, about development, about culture. Hannah is a great tour guide, and will only be there for another 11 months. So you should plan your trip now. You won’t find a better tour guide. Have fun.
If you haven’t gone to visit Hannah in Zambia yet, you should go. It is amazing.
I went at the end of April. Tess, who was wandering around Europe, met me at Heathrow and we flew down to Lusaka together. We got there as the sun was rising. It took a while to get through immigration, and we were surprised that the visa fee had gone up to $135 each. Hannah met us at the airport with a cabbie waiting who whisked us in to Les and Lynn’s house. Les and Lynn used to direct a Peace Corps program and now work for NGOs. They’ve made their lovely home a haven for Peace Corps volunteers and, it seems, any other weary traveler of goodwill who is looking for a hot shower and a beer.
We went shopping at the Dutch Reformed market where Hannah knows just about everybody.
The next morning, we caught the dawn bus to Livingstone. We stayed at a great hostel called Fawlty Towers - where we got our own room for three, with a bathroom down the hall, a pool in the courtyard, a decent restaurant, and bunch of friendly cats to play with. It is two miles or so from Victoria Falls.
The Falls are better than you can imagine – they are like no other geologic formation I’ve ever seen. The river flows across a flat plain above them, then just drops over a mile-wide ridge that looks like it is the edge of the earth, into a narrow ravine below. Because there is so much water (it was the end of the rainy season), because the ravine is so deep, and because it is so narrow, the water crashes into the rocks below and makes so much mist that you can barely see the falls. (The name for the falls in the local language – Mosi Ao Tunya – translates as “The Smoke That Thunders”) All you see is mist. And you hear an incredible roar. On the paths that go along the ridges opposite the falls, the mist is so thick that it is like a torrential downpour. The rent raincoats, umbrellas, and even rubber clogs. If you don’t rent them (we didn’t) you will get very, very wet.
The next day, we met our safari guide, a guy named Bob Batchelor. I’d found his company – Imfuduko African Safaris – on the web, and worked with him by phone and email to design a trip. We spent a few days canoeing on the Lower Zambezi (and saw many hippos, crocodiles, impala, and great birds. We saw one large, lonely elephant, munching reeds by the river bank. Then we drove to another game park – Kafue – in Western Zambia. There, on a night game drive, we saw more elephants, zebras, a leopard, a civet, a few porcupine, kudu, puku, impala, and a fat lazy puff adder, slithering across the road. We let him slither. Bob dropped us off in Lusaka after a week in the bush –and we were happy to see Les and Lynn’s again.
From there, we went up to Mpika to visit Hannah’s village. We were welcomed like royalty. Everyone from the proprietors of the internet café to the vegetable sellers in the market know and love “Ba Anna” (as Hannah is known there.) We basked in the reflected glory. The village ladies put on a wild and wonderful dance show, skit, and formal welcome ceremony for us. For the children in the village, our visit was major entertainment. They watched our every move, imitated our funny speech, wanted to touch our strange pale, hairy skin, and found us amusing in every way. We liked them, too.
We met all the other Peace Corps volunteers. We ate nshima and chibwabwa, made over Hannah’s charcoal brazier fire. We drank beer and played pool at a great bar run by a German guy who has settled in Mpika. We hiked to the dam. We went to visit the waterfalls in Kasama. We visited a local orphanage and the local school. Everywhere we went, the people we met were warm and welcoming.
Zambia is one of southern Africa’s success stories – especially compared to its neighbor Zimbabwe. That doesn’t mean all is well. Poverty is rampant. AIDS orphans are everywhere. The education system is massively underfunded. All the contradictions and frustrations of developing countries are everywhere apparent. But so are the virtues. It is a challenging place to visit – hard to get to, hard to get around, and full of things that challenge preconceptions about Africa, about development, about culture. Hannah is a great tour guide, and will only be there for another 11 months. So you should plan your trip now. You won’t find a better tour guide. Have fun.
Monday, April 21, 2008
water carriers in training
the best image of my day: my two little three year old neighbors each carrying a plastic 500 mL water bottle on their heads. so cute.
Thursday, April 17, 2008
donate to my library!
i've pasted and copied the description for the Peace Corps Website below. We've already raised $1000! But anything, and really i mean ANYTHING (if everyone who has ever been sent the address to this blog gave $5 we'd prob have over $1000!) helps...
So, to donate:
go to peacecorps.gov. on the left there is menu and at the bottom is a button "DONATE NOW." That will take you to a page with a couple options, click on "Volunteer projects" and then go to Zambia. It's labelled "community libraries" project and the name is "C. Staatz." Colleen is a friend of mine and her library in another district is getting some of the books along with some other PC libraries. Please please help with whatever you can!
Also, if you have books you'd like to send that's possible, but maybe more complicated. e-mail me with specific questions about that. Thanks!!!
Community Libraries
Imagine learning to read with 1 book: your 2nd grade textbook that 3 siblings have already torn to pieces. Imagine learning to appreciate reading when you’ve never been read to or watched an adult read a book. Imagine learning to read in a language that is not your first language. Imagine living in a place where books can cost your parents’ monthly income. These are only some of the issues that Zambian school children face in learning to read and speak English.
This project will fund the transport of 20,000 books to develop four libraries in Zambia. All three districts are far from the capital and lack reading and reference materials is a problem. These students are often eager to study topics that interst them or refer to outside materials when preparing for exams, but are unable to do so. In addition to reference materials, these libraries would also include basic children’s books, which wil help Zambian students to improve their English, a vital skill for performing well on their national examinations and their ability to continue in higher education. All four libraries are being built in schools or community centers where local kids as well as adults can easily access the books.
The communities have greatly contributed to this project by providing the physical spaces to house the libraries. This eliminates the need for costly construction materials and ensures that the libraries will become functional quickly after the arrival of the books.
So, to donate:
go to peacecorps.gov. on the left there is menu and at the bottom is a button "DONATE NOW." That will take you to a page with a couple options, click on "Volunteer projects" and then go to Zambia. It's labelled "community libraries" project and the name is "C. Staatz." Colleen is a friend of mine and her library in another district is getting some of the books along with some other PC libraries. Please please help with whatever you can!
Also, if you have books you'd like to send that's possible, but maybe more complicated. e-mail me with specific questions about that. Thanks!!!
Community Libraries
Imagine learning to read with 1 book: your 2nd grade textbook that 3 siblings have already torn to pieces. Imagine learning to appreciate reading when you’ve never been read to or watched an adult read a book. Imagine learning to read in a language that is not your first language. Imagine living in a place where books can cost your parents’ monthly income. These are only some of the issues that Zambian school children face in learning to read and speak English.
This project will fund the transport of 20,000 books to develop four libraries in Zambia. All three districts are far from the capital and lack reading and reference materials is a problem. These students are often eager to study topics that interst them or refer to outside materials when preparing for exams, but are unable to do so. In addition to reference materials, these libraries would also include basic children’s books, which wil help Zambian students to improve their English, a vital skill for performing well on their national examinations and their ability to continue in higher education. All four libraries are being built in schools or community centers where local kids as well as adults can easily access the books.
The communities have greatly contributed to this project by providing the physical spaces to house the libraries. This eliminates the need for costly construction materials and ensures that the libraries will become functional quickly after the arrival of the books.
Monday, April 07, 2008
"orientalism"
it's interesting how many people responded to my last entry about my awe at my "African" moments. i'm not sure if it's that i asked for comments cause i want to know who's reading this or if it's because that's such a common, expected feeling. i know it is. an awe at the beauty and the frustration of living here is hard to not make romantic.
i'm reading a book called "The Road to Hell" right now (i forget who it's by, but i'll try to get it on here next time!) which is, to be very broad, about the failure of development organizations and possibly even the evil of them... that they can participate in the continuing underdevelopment of nations. but it focuses on somalia in the '80s and the work done around the famine and food aid. the image of a starving african child is, in its horror, romanticized by the "Development" world. "you can help! you can feel good about yourself! you can smile at how you helped!"
it's sick and yet part of the system. of course women here in their beautiful, colorful suits will seem romantic and an "other" to me because it's been part of our media for so long. africa, since the days of the explorers, has been full of mystery, intrigue and excitement. and that goes from here to the states too. a zambian in america would probably keep thinking "this is america! this is the land of opportunity!" yet, trying to make it a reality, with it's complexity is something i try to do everyday and something i also try to do here, on this blog. keep commenting!
to change direction just a bit, i got an e-mail from a friend today talking about "relative" poverty. i'll quote:
"Otherwise, I have been spending a lot more time thinking about the situation in the US. Obviously, we don't have extreme poverty like that which exists in Mali, Zambia, India, and Honduras. So at times I think it is foolish to spend time wondering how to help those who are relatively well off globally yet poor relative to our country. And yet, it is sensible and even powerful to be an advocate for change and justice within one's own community and culture. Perhaps I can do more in that capacity...especially as I do not envisage myself living overseas for the remainder of my life. Perhaps not. Either way, the conditions here are not great. The country is going through a terrible crisis of confidence, with 81% of people thinking the country is seriously off-track. Prices for food and fuel are soaring, the number of people on food stamps is growing, unemployment is up and the economy is struggling with a seriously f-ed up loan system and declining real estate prices. As usual, the poor and lower middle classes suffer the most. That, plus the presidential race and the serious questions of race and sex it elicits, makes it a fascinating time to be here."
i thought he (and i'll reference him if he tells me it's ok!) wrote so eloquently about the complexity of poverty today. the poor here suffer. lack of clean (or running) water, illness, infant mortality, HIV, poor education, lack of jobs and capital and loans and so much more make life difficult. yet people are friendly and kind and supportive in ways that i know i will miss when i am back in america. the random person who saw that i greeted another peace corps volunteer and then asked me to greet someone for him and who i ended up talking to as i walked the two blocks to the internet...
yet, the poor everywhere suffer. especially when you SEE wealth and inequality around you. few people here have a good education so, though you may want that for your children, it's not rubbed in your face as much if you don't have it... is that harder? or is that easier? where do we need to work? how do we make change? obviously the answer is both. we need people who can work and make change here and we need people who can work in the states making change (both with the poor and how we view the poor!)...
but, i also recently got a letter that another friend wrote a year ago. not sure how on earth it travelled to take so long but she wrote about being a peace corps volunteer and trying to both teach people but not change values, to work within the cultural system and values. but if you're trying to teach to change behavior how does that not, inherently, struggle with changing values? women are healthier if they don't have ten children, but children and having family are valued here. they are also valued as a kind of social security - unpredicatability and lack of care in old age mean children help you survive... but as we encourage women to have fewer children (both for their own health and for the fewer expenses of caring for fewer children) do we change values? change a culture? to come back to the beginning, make it real and less romantic and less full of suffering?
i'm reading a book called "The Road to Hell" right now (i forget who it's by, but i'll try to get it on here next time!) which is, to be very broad, about the failure of development organizations and possibly even the evil of them... that they can participate in the continuing underdevelopment of nations. but it focuses on somalia in the '80s and the work done around the famine and food aid. the image of a starving african child is, in its horror, romanticized by the "Development" world. "you can help! you can feel good about yourself! you can smile at how you helped!"
it's sick and yet part of the system. of course women here in their beautiful, colorful suits will seem romantic and an "other" to me because it's been part of our media for so long. africa, since the days of the explorers, has been full of mystery, intrigue and excitement. and that goes from here to the states too. a zambian in america would probably keep thinking "this is america! this is the land of opportunity!" yet, trying to make it a reality, with it's complexity is something i try to do everyday and something i also try to do here, on this blog. keep commenting!
to change direction just a bit, i got an e-mail from a friend today talking about "relative" poverty. i'll quote:
"Otherwise, I have been spending a lot more time thinking about the situation in the US. Obviously, we don't have extreme poverty like that which exists in Mali, Zambia, India, and Honduras. So at times I think it is foolish to spend time wondering how to help those who are relatively well off globally yet poor relative to our country. And yet, it is sensible and even powerful to be an advocate for change and justice within one's own community and culture. Perhaps I can do more in that capacity...especially as I do not envisage myself living overseas for the remainder of my life. Perhaps not. Either way, the conditions here are not great. The country is going through a terrible crisis of confidence, with 81% of people thinking the country is seriously off-track. Prices for food and fuel are soaring, the number of people on food stamps is growing, unemployment is up and the economy is struggling with a seriously f-ed up loan system and declining real estate prices. As usual, the poor and lower middle classes suffer the most. That, plus the presidential race and the serious questions of race and sex it elicits, makes it a fascinating time to be here."
i thought he (and i'll reference him if he tells me it's ok!) wrote so eloquently about the complexity of poverty today. the poor here suffer. lack of clean (or running) water, illness, infant mortality, HIV, poor education, lack of jobs and capital and loans and so much more make life difficult. yet people are friendly and kind and supportive in ways that i know i will miss when i am back in america. the random person who saw that i greeted another peace corps volunteer and then asked me to greet someone for him and who i ended up talking to as i walked the two blocks to the internet...
yet, the poor everywhere suffer. especially when you SEE wealth and inequality around you. few people here have a good education so, though you may want that for your children, it's not rubbed in your face as much if you don't have it... is that harder? or is that easier? where do we need to work? how do we make change? obviously the answer is both. we need people who can work and make change here and we need people who can work in the states making change (both with the poor and how we view the poor!)...
but, i also recently got a letter that another friend wrote a year ago. not sure how on earth it travelled to take so long but she wrote about being a peace corps volunteer and trying to both teach people but not change values, to work within the cultural system and values. but if you're trying to teach to change behavior how does that not, inherently, struggle with changing values? women are healthier if they don't have ten children, but children and having family are valued here. they are also valued as a kind of social security - unpredicatability and lack of care in old age mean children help you survive... but as we encourage women to have fewer children (both for their own health and for the fewer expenses of caring for fewer children) do we change values? change a culture? to come back to the beginning, make it real and less romantic and less full of suffering?
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